are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
