is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize