Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize