Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
