HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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