I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
