At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
