we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
