Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom

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(586): Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom http://tfl.nu/p7m9

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(858): View more from California

in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"

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(858): in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby" http://tfl.nu/q8vs

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(614): View more from Ohio

He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick

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(614): He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick http://tfl.nu/nn0g

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(951): View more from California

Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.

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(951): Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable. http://tfl.nu/q51j

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(859): View more from Kentucky

he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"

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(859): he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots" http://tfl.nu/5st6

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(250): View more from British Columbia

you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.

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(250): you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in. http://tfl.nu/ux6h

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.

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(910): I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive. http://tfl.nu/9t3w

Replies (13) Good night (4312) Bad night (911)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.

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(724): I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way. http://tfl.nu/vhtx

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.

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(612): I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot. http://tfl.nu/k764

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(442): View more from California

While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.

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(442): While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage. http://tfl.nu/yi73

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

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(423): Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/4jzk

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(406): View more from Montana

Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight

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(406): Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight http://tfl.nu/ih4l

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(250): View more from British Columbia

The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.

(905): View more from Ontario

Fuhga

(250): View more from British Columbia

Thank you.

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(250): The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive. (905): Fuhga (250): Thank you. http://tfl.nu/3pok

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(269): View more from Michigan

I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.

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(269): I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning. http://tfl.nu/k0jr

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(775): View more from Nevada

Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.

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(775): Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure. http://tfl.nu/5ngb

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