That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize