we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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