Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
