i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
