If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
