just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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