were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
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I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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