it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
