so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
