Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
