i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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