Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
