ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
