Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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