But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
