I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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