Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
