He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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