Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
