I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
