I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Green mimosas i think yes
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
