Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
