he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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