So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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