There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
