you would pick up someone in the library
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize