The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
