My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
