I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
