guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
