Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I love you. Go after that dick
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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