question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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