I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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