is your mom at the bar?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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