I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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