Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
