i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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