This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
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I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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