I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize