I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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