The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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