I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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