She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
