Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
