I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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