I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
