I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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