the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
